Monday, April 22, 2024

Top 6 Reasons Your Partner Brings Up another Love

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by https://hackspirit.com/wife-talks-about-ex-boyfriend/

reasons your wife talks about her ex-boyfriend (and what it really means for your marriage)


1) She’s playing a game
Let’s start with a common and unfortunate one of the reasons your wife talks about her boyfriend (and what it really means for your marriage).
Sometimes she’s just talking about that one magic winter in Aspen with her ex T because she’s playing a game with you.
More specifically, she’s playing a game with your heart.

She’s testing how you’ll react and seeing if you’ll flip out, get sad, withdraw or do something bad in return.

Needless to say, this is very immature behavior that nobody should be doing in any relationship, much less a marriage.

If your wife is bringing up her ex-boyfriend in order to play with your emotions and test how you’ll respond, you have a solid reason to feel angry.
It’s juvenile, hurtful and dangerous. She’s risking torching your whole marriage in order to just test how much you love or how upset you get about her fantasizing about another guy.
2) She wants to hurt you
It gets worse.
Sometimes one of the reasons your wife talks about her boyfriend is that she wants to hurt you.

As simple as that.

Something in her own life or your relationship has upset her and she’s looking to lash out.
So she brings up her ex to piss you off.
If you don’t react, she keeps pushing.
If you do react, she uses that as a springboard for an even bigger, nastier fight.
It’s a vicious cycle that you just can’t win.
As Culture Club sang in their 1982 hit song “Do You Really Want To Hurt Me? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nXGPZaTKik)”
“Do you really want to hurt me?
Do you really want to make me cry?”
Unfortunately, in this case yes.
Your wife does want to hurt you and make you cry.
And that’s really horrible.
Your wife shouldn’t be trying to hurt you!
If your wife is doing
this, it’s just one of the various signs that:

3) Your marriage is in trouble
The thing is that your wife wouldn’t be playing games or trying to hurt you if your marriage was doing OK.
Talking about her ex-boyfriend isn’t normal or healthy, and she knows it.

How would she feel if you were going on about a beautiful ex-girlfriend you had?

She’d probably be just a little bit uncomfortable too, right?
You could be forgiven for feeling like your relationship has run its course and your wife is just looking for a way out.
But that’s not always the case.
If this is you, don’t worry, there is a way to salvage your relationship.

But not only that…
He also covers some crucial mistakes most people make, mistakes that usually end in divorce.
So if you want to give your marriage another chance, this video will be a great starting point.
With Brad’s advice, you’ll be in a better position to get through to your spouse and revive the loving marriage you once had.

She misses her ex and wants to divorce you
Browning’s system truly is helpful and insightful, especially if there’s still some hope left in your marriage.
But if your wife is completely convinced that she wants to get out of the marriage, sometimes it’s not possible for you to stop it.
One of the reasons your wife talks about her boyfriend (and what it really means for your marriage) is, in some cases, that she wants a divorce .

Talking about her ex is her way of basically telling you that you’re not good enough and she doesn’t want you anymore.

Unlike the first few points where I talk about game playing and provoking, this is dead serious.
She wants out of the relationship (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/better-divorce/202108/8-signs-partner-may-want-divorce) and she’s not making it easy, either.
She’s talking about her ex to make it clear that she no longer has any boundaries and wants to be done with you. She also might miss her ex.

5) She’s trying
to pressure you

Another one of the reasons your wife talks about her boyfriend can be that she’s trying to pressure you.
The logic here is clear:

She was with a guy she liked in the past and he had various pleasing or displeasing characteristics and behaviors.
She’s now talking about them as an obvious parallel with you.
For example, she may talk about her ex-boyfriend and how he was so messy at cleaning up around their apartment.
Hint: stop being so messy or you’ll soon be an ex.
On the positive side, she may talk about her ex-boyfriend and how he was such an attentive partner in bed.
Hint: you’re not good enough in bed and she’s getting bored.
This is far from subtle, and it’s normal for you to feel a bit ticked off if your wife is doing this.
Why is she trying to compare and contrast you with an ex who’s no longer in her life? Even if she’s doing it in a “nice” way, it will tend to create some pressure and awkward expectations.

6) She wants to cheat on you
Another one of the top reasons your wife talks about her boyfriend is that she wants to cheat on you.

Some people are more impulsive than others.
But many cheaters actually show various signs of their infidelity long before they ever do the deed.

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