Monday, May 20, 2024

My Story of Contrition: An Unorthodox Journey to Conservatism


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Contrition: the state of feeling remorseful and penitent.

It’s 2008 and I am nose deep into the Men’s Rights Movement.  That’s where I learned about MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) and dived right into the minds of men.  What on earth would drive men to never want to be involved with women for the rest of their lives?  It’s where I began to see the pitfalls and dangers of Feminism and Liberalism, and the merits of Libertarianism.  

Who is Rand Paul?  I was a voyeur, a spy from the other side looking into a world I had never seen.  To this day I don’t know how I landed deep into that layer of the interweb, and I don’t know what compelled me to stay and listen to the grievance of the men, but I did.  There I received an education I wasn’t expecting, and it changed the trajectory of my life.  

Their pain became my pain.  Their loss of family, finances and sometimes their very lives have haunted me for the last decade and a half.  It compelled me to gain a better understanding of the world around me and see things from a different perspective.  Since then, I have been able to think more critically and analyze more effectively, I became more self-aware.

What assisted me during my informal education is that I had access to real life examples of the dysfunction created by the Democratic and Feministic indoctrination occurring in this country.  My 3-year relationship fell apart and I was in the middle of building a business with a woman who was the quintessence of every liberal caricature known to man.  

Back on the dating scene at 28, many of the men available were the type of men I was reading about in the Men’s Rights Movement.  Divorced, wife takes kids, house, money, cars, for me it was confirming what I was absorbing online.  This was a corrupt system that hurt families and civilization.  I wondered how deep the corruption went and over the years this has been revealed to me. 

It is still a mystery to me as to why it took me so long to see how most of the tenants of the Democratic Party are inherently racist.  How does declaring the Black woman’s lack of access to abortion not wake people out of a deep slumber?  What did Margret Sanger founder of Planned Parenthood say, “We do not want word to go out that we want to exterminate the Negro population.”  How does forcing the Black community to take an experimental vaccine to maintain employment not raise alarms?  

Oh, you’re right, not forced just coerced.  Force is when public health withholds patients’ syphilis status from the patient and refuses to treat the infection, knowingly spreading syphilis throughout a community.  It was that system revealing itself to me once again, and the system relied heavily on Democratic strongholds such as the medical and educational institutions.

Medical Freedom has been an integral part of my transformation.  When I realized it was mostly Democratic representatives putting forth legislation that removed vaccine exemptions here in Wisconsin, I had to pause and when it finally sunk in that the states that were removing these exemptions, personal, religious, and medical, were also Democratic, it was a pattern I couldn’t ignore. 

The party I called home for over two decades was adamantly opposed to me maintaining bodily autonomy.  They appeared joyful in denying people vaccine choice.  Their power trip and thirst for power was apparent and revolting to me.  Both my daughter and I have had negative reactions to vaccines, and self-preservation has driven me to be at the forefront of the Medical Freedom movement. 

At some point around 2020 I became the enemy.  One day I woke up and I was no longer Black in the eyes of the Progressive Liberals and of no use to them.  Myself and my children became a problem, we were dangerous with our light skin and passing abilities.  Not only was being biracial an issue, but I no longer spouted the liberal talking points.  I guess you could say my “Black Card” had been revoked and standing in my place were purple haired white women, with ‘pink pussy hats.’  Allies they call themselves.  Keyboard warriors with children who were adopted or mixed now replaced those of us in the Black community unwilling to bend to the insanity on the Left.  

My support for the second amendment didn’t help, and my more pro-life views became an issue.  In the hierarchy of victimhood, I had sunk to the bottom.  Overnight it seems Black women and men had been replaced by the Gay community as a tool to gain political power, and now they have been replaced by the Trans community.  We all know who the next group will be, you can already see the set up.  Let’s save that for another day.

These experiences wouldn’t have mattered if I couldn’t have comprehended the mainstream media’s role in deceiving our entire nation.  My biggest wakeup call was in spring of 2020 when an acquaintance of mine had helped organized the lockdown protest in Madison, WI.  Reading through the local news sources and their reporting, I saw how incredibly deceptive they were associating high cases of Covid with the protest, by describing the cases as coming from a “large group.”  The connection was all correlation, not fact, it was manufactured. There was enough of a “connection” that it made rabid and fearful the people around me.  

In that moment I began to see the truth and how dangerous the mainstream media had become.  If the local news stations were this diabolical, what level of deception had been orchestrated by these entities throughout the years?  There were many moments before, but this is where reality really sunk in, this was MY “ah ha” moment.  Every experience before this was just a brush stroke, and this was the last to give me a clear picture of the decline of a nation.

Biracial, psychologically traumatized as a child, I was the perfect Progressive Liberal squawking box.  One that parroted every mainstream media talking point to other traumatized people to spread the Progressive Gospel.  

As a child, in my family we didn’t talk about politics, it was shameful to ask a lady’s age, weight or political persuasions.  Maybe that was an extraordinary blessing, from the beginning I was allowed to be influence without being branded.  It’s quite possible the refusal of those around me to speak about politics gave me space to come to my own conclusions with little fear of retribution.  What irritated me as a child, I see now as an unintentional slip-up of those who are disappointed in my crossover to more conservative beliefs.  I sometimes wonder if it was my poverty that saved me from a life of Progressivism.  Too poor to send myself to a four-year college, I never received the level of indoctrination my peers received.  My two-year associates degree sits waiting for completion.

So now I pay penance, fighting against things I once fought for, building up what I once thought of as repulsive.  My how your values change when you have been given the gifts of discernment and grace.

While I know in this moment you may feel triumphant and justified for your anger, don’t get me wrong in many ways you are justified dear reader, I’m here to tell you that you have saboteurs in your midst.  My position provides me a bird’s eye view of a party fractured by the same underlying issues of power and greed that permeate the Progressives, and at certain points infiltration of the party.  

My experience within the Democratic party makes me skittish to stand cemented to a party that resembles my old one.  I stand simply as a Faithful Conservative Patriot.  Really what matters most in this day is your ethics, morals, principles, and desire for self-preservation.  

What matters most is our human bonds, and the moments that connect us to one another.  The kicker is that we need to be connected, but everything in our modern world drives us apart.  I’m sure, like me, you’ll find yourself first standing alone and if you dare to be brave dear reader, from one standing alone will come many, standing together.  The decline of our nation stops with us.


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